Lessons From Bangkok

It’s so amazing how you can go to a foreign country and feel like you’re in Manila. Bangkok is that way! Somebody told me that if not for the language they speak, you can easily mistake the Thai people around you for Filipinos. Truth be told, there were some times we would talk in Tagalog to the attendants when ordering food or buying at the stores, as in, “pwede patingin?” Hello! As if sasagutin kami nun ng Tagalog ano?

Mah Boon Krong and the other malls felt like Greenhills or 168 or Market! Market. Paragon was Shangri-la Plaza Mall or pinalaking Powerplant. Pratunam was like Divisoria. Sometimes their prices are cheaper, but sometimes, the prices are cheaper in the Philippines—I guess wala talagang guarantees when it comes to looking for bargains. You can never tell if you’re getting a good deal or not. Even if you think you are getting a bargain you may still find something cheaper in Manila simply because the Thai seller overpriced you because you are a tourist. Kahit saan naming tourist destination, ganun. Ang walang katulad lang talaga, I think, is Patpong, not the night market, but the “night life” quite literally around it. Pero sabi nila meron daw equivalent nun sa Caloocan? Anyway…

All the “wat’s” (temples) spelled a big difference, though. In the beginning it seemed to me that every street corner temple was a photo opportunity. After seeing many, many, many, many, many temples, I realized that one picture of a temple is to me just as good as any other. Still ended up with a fair few nonetheless, hehe. The tour guide said 96% of Thais are Buddhist. Sunday evening we congregated with the 4% that were Christian in a church with a roof resembling that of a—what else?—Buddhist temple. The church looked like it used to be a temple, or at least was started with plans of making it into a temple, but somewhere along the construction, the plans changed and they made it into a Christian church. Another thing that was interesting was puro Don Moen ang kanta nila dun sa church. Or baka dun lang sa church na yun, maybe in a church elsewhere they sing Hillsong or Lakewood already. Or maybe that day was a Don Moen day.

May issue lang ako sa slogan nila na “amazing thailand” though. Hindi naman sya ganun ka-amazing. Siguro because na-a-amaze ako sa mga natural wonders at hindi masyado sa manmade structures kaya hindi masyado pumatok sa kin ang mga temples nila. Boracay pa din talaga (super bad trip the news about the recent oil spill threatening to reach boracay waters!!!). Sabagay, kanya-kanyang interest yan. Biased na din siguro ako, being non-Buddhist and all. Maybe other people feel the same about Wow Philippines… hindi naman talaga kawow-wow yung ibang mga bagay na pinapakita nila nuon sa mga commercial. Lalo na ngayon na nilagyan na nila ng subdivision ang Banaue Rice Terraces (so kaka ever)! I prefer the current tagline more: yung More Than The Usual. Mas interesting yun and with a touch of humor pa.

Ay ano ba, napunta na sa tourism ang topic ko. This post, is after all, about Thailand. Anyway since we’re on the subject matter, nagcompile kami ng mga friends ko ng mga things that we learned while in Bangkok. Syempre, kahit saan kami mapadpad, at kahit ano man ang aming gawin, dapat may aral. Ergo… here are ten things we learned in Bangkok:

1. The best way to ask about anything in the markets is to point to something which best resembles what you’re asking and ask: “same same?”. If they answer, “yes! same same!”, bingo ka. If they say no, point at some other thing until you get it right. This may take anything from two minutes to twenty even for a lousy t-shirt.
2. Best to use one-word sentences. For ice: “few! few!” For bargaining: “discount! discount!” Pasakalye’s like “Where is…” or “Can you show me how to go to…” will NOT work and will only lengthen the time you are lost and confused.
3. Anything iced can actually mean just ICE with some other thing, like some tea, or some coke.
4. You can suffix any thing with ka when addressing females, or krup when addressing males. For people in the middle or for those who have undergone “gender reassignment” (a very politically correct term for sex-change operations), we have created a new term… ka-betch.
5. It is possible to operate a free skyway the length of Buendia to Susana Heights—no matter what the tollway corporations in Manila say.
6. It is possible to recognize FVR without the tabako. His pictures were everywhere in Bangkok. (Just kidding… it’s just that the king looks a lot like FVR.)
7. When bank attendants or store people talk around you, instead of to you, when you ask them a question so you know perfectly well they’re talking/giggling/smirking about you, don’t mind them—it’ll just ruin your day if you did.
8. Sa Pilipinas lang ata maliit ang regular French fries. Our large portions are regular size(!) in Bangkok.
9. DO NOT take pictures of metallic bags in stores run by small, grumpy women with bottle-permed stringy hair.
10. And lastly, if you want to make instant friends, go to Patpong night market. Within seconds of your setting foot in the area, you will be accosted by smiling men shouting “mafren (my friend, duh)! mafren!”, brandishing laminated yellow “menus” of delicacies of the more, er… exotic kind (the kind involving pingpong balls). For more details, ask any one of us… but I won’t tell you which one. You guess.