Revving Up

are you familiar with the need to "rev up" your car before it can actually run? nabuksan mo na yung engine pero, for some reason (whether made up or perfectly valid, i have no idea), hindi mo pa mapapa-andar kasi, er, pinapa-init mo pa? i am no driver so i have no idea what technicalities this entails but i've heard of the term used many times before...

anyway to cut this pasakalye short, all i want to say is that this is the state i am currently in: i am still in the "revving up" zone. we're already two weeks into the year but, honestly, i am just getting out of my "shut-up-my-mind-is-on-vacation-mode" shell. which is not to say that i didn't have anything to do these first two weeks. in fact, i am swamped...

...january 1: led worship for three services at church. january 2, reviewed project drafts from students. january 3: started classes in UP and attended planning meeting at 7pm for the Praise Theme at cruzada. january 4: made quiz for friday, wrapped very very late Christmas gifts for Nats' friends at the hospital and our friends at church, spent almost entire day on this. january 5: discussed with groups of students to discuss my comments on their project drafts. january 6: had class all day, gave exams....

...and the packed days went on and on until today, january 12, found me juggling between making a research outline for the industry study i have to finish to get my tenure, preparing for my classes, for which i am late by two sessions (due to the Taiwan trip and homecoming preparations) and for which i expect to be even more late come february (due to my Thailand trip at the end of the month), and checking quiz#2 from last week.

with all these things happening, i should be up and running. but waitaminit, i am up and running. er... at least my body is. my mind, however, quite perplexingly, is still half-asleep in my bed. my brain is in denial. it refuses to acknowledge that all this activity has already been happening around me. every time i finish something, i feel as if i'm watching another person do it. parang out-of-body experience. weird, ano? i mentally come alive only kapag kaharap ko na si jang-geum ("unti-unting mararating..."--thats from jewel in the palace for you poor deprived kapamilya folk).

anyway... so what's in store for me this year? aside from the planned "gigs" ng Praise Theme at Cruzada Choir (January PnW seminar, February concert, April easter concert, Tagaytay convention, December Worship Camp), the trips to Thailand (end of Jan) and Beijing (end of May), my industry study due in June, and my classes, all of which are pretty much "sure things", i really have NO IDEA what's to come this year. last year, though, the road ahead was a lot foggier: come january 1 the only thing i was anticipating was leaving for france january 22... and boy oh boy was i completely whipped with the things of last year. munti ko nang hindi kayanin lahat ng nangyari. pero pero... kinaya pa din. Thank GOD.

any thing i want to change this year? er... pwede bang overhaul? hehehe. hindi naman. truth be told, i don't like making New Year's Resolutions like "this year, hindi na ako magiging <insert annoying habit here>." i prefer goals in the medium-term. my friend of too many years, dona, has resolved to simplify and has reduced all her resolutions for 2006 into two words: weight loss. unfortunately for me though, i can only trim down these promises into four goals for this year:

1. Get tenured at UP... hence the need to finish this call center industry study and get published.
2. Learn to drive... but I myself am not willing to bet on this. I've been "goaling" this for the past ten or more years and I still can't get of our driveway without denting our car.
3. Memorize playing the Hallelujah Chorus for Resurrection Sunday... I've been playing this every year for almost ten years. It's about time I memorize it.
4. Get tenured at UP... I know I've said that already. I mean to be redundant.

Golly gee I do hope I get to accomplish them all. Kahit number 1 and 4 lang para 50 percent na. Hehehe. Eto lang talaga ang gusto kong mangyari this year. I really really prefer to live a simpler life this year... a steadier life. Tama na ang pagjetset ko last year. This year I hope I can learn how to be still. And keep at it.