mugging for the camera (jacob and lynn) at cascada... parang press-con ah 

Turning 30...

...no, not me. At least not yet. Tonight we had a suprise birthday for my friend Dona. Her closest friends from UP and SGV were invited. We met up first at Starbucks sa Greenbelt while the organizers, Harry and Clars, plus some friends of Dona and mine from UP (Ana and Dominic) were having dinner sa M Cafe at the Ayala Museum. We were "instructed" to go to the cafe one by one every five minutes and when we got there we were given three flowers to give to our friend and greet her happy birthday.

I came in with Joy and Pia. We greeted Dona from behind kasi her back was to us pagpasok naman ng M Cafe. The look on her face when she turned around and saw us was a classic (not to mention the "oh-my-gawd" expression that came with it)--sobrang surprised talaga. Her birthday's not until September 29 pa, but I think that day was made wonderful in advance because of tonight's wonderful surprise. :D (Pictures follow this post. Will post more as soon as I get pics from Dominic.)

....am thinking now if it's a big deal to turn thirty. Is it a big deal? Other people think it's a big deal and actually chide me about turning thirty next year. I smile and laugh along with them pero sa loob-loob ko... hmmm, so what, tigyawat? What difference does it make? er... should it make a difference at all? Ika nga: "age is just a number". More and more I feel that is true, now that I am, ahem, coming of age.

Thirty-shmirty... who cares? I think the most important thing is what we do with the years we have lived and not how many years we lived per se. And I don't think the main debate is about being old vs. being young--the main point is to keep things fresh and new always. This means opening one's mind about things and keeping this mind open to new ideas even if they carry the risk that the old ideas we had held on to for so long will be debunked. Turning thirty becomes a scary thing only if we allow ourselves to become outdated.

On the other hand, turning thirty also comes with it a sense of achievement... like a certain level of wisdom has been reached. But only, i guess, if tunay na may pinagkatandaan ka nga. It's an ugly thing to see immaturity at 30--infinitely uglier and more idiotic than immaturity at 13. The best part about being thirty is the fact that you're already done with the teens and the twenties... yes, there is definitely a sense of been here, done that. You can look at those still struggling through their acne-prone or quarterlife-crisis years and smugly smile, saying to yourself,... thank heavens I'm done with that.

I believe my friend, Dona, is in that been there done that stage. She's in a certain state of contentment that ensures facing the big "three-oh" will be a graceful affair and not a scary ride. Should this state of contentment wear off, however, she'll definitely take consolation in the fact that, in a few days, our other friend Kaye's gonna take the ride with her, and in a few months, myself, Joy, and Edelle will all be turning thirty too. If turning 30 becomes a fun ride, then we'll have fun together. If not, then we'll still have fun getting depressed together too.

SGV friends (except Pia, my French friend from ESSCA)

joy and dona

soon to be thirty-somethings

Impromptu Date

What's so special about this date that I have to mention it in this blog? Well, the fact that dates like these are so few and far in between for Nats and me that the fact that it happened at all is an event in itself!!! That's what I get for dating an ortho resident at PGH. Oh, well. That's why we make a big fuss about these little things. There's a kind of cuteness and sentimentality about it that may be a bit too corny for the world to know. But, like in most things, I really don't care what the world thinks so here are the pics from this "inpromptu" date. (Is that spelled with an "n" as iNpromptu or "m" as iMpromptu? Can't remember and too lazy to spell-check in MS Word, so shoot me.)

nats' idea of a candid shot

some giggling kid inside the resto... only if we all can be as worry-free, inhibition-free, and well... just FREE as this kid is all the time, this world will be a much much HAPPIER place

Christmas lights in GB3 as early as September... welcome to the new mall-ing, window-shoping, holiday-ing Filipino culture

a forest of greens in the mall complex at greenbelt: too bad passersby NEVER stop to notice these trees, most of them would rather hang out at the coffee shops to make pa-cute with each other

doing the asian tourist thing with the peace sign: except i don't look anywhere near anything oriental

cheap appetizer: baked clams with garlic and cheese... gone in FIVE minutes!

it's been YEARS since i had butong pakwan (watermelon seeds)... a cute gesture from the resto, Sentro at Gbelt 3

Scenes From A Rainy Day

It rained all throughout last week. The mornings start out sunny, the afternoons a bit cloudy, then the rains pour down over Metro Manila come 6pm. Last Thursday's dark showers were the worst, I think. Took some pictures from the backseat of my car on the way home...

the gloomy ride starts at UP

the light still put up a fight as we coursed through katipunan avenue

bet even these huge potted plants were only reluctantly happy over the downpour

this is not a black and white photo. this is c5 road in living color (or lack of it). the clouds seemed ready to drop from the sky--but in the meantime smoked Camels.

5:30 pm: feeble attempts from a streetlamp to illuminate our way

Got Tagged to Do the Quiz of Sevens

Got tagged by dessagirl, so here goes...

Seven things that scare you:
1. snakes, big reptiles, e.g. iguanas
2. going deaf
3. drowning
4. earthquakes
5. the quintessential "white lady" in pinoy movies
6. the wicked witch in disney's snow white
7. madam rosa

Seven things you like the most:
1. cats
2. my ipod
3. shopping
4. travel
5. movies and novels
6. strawberries
7. kikay things, flowers, girly stuff

Seven important things in your bedroom:
1. AC
2. night lamp
3. the color yellow--on the comforter, on the pillows, on the walls
4. laundry hamper
5. wastebasket
6. my ventolin inhaler for asthma attacks in the middle of the night
7. jane austen on the bedside table for when i can't sleep
8. (pahabol) my cat "bituin"

Seven random facts about you:
1. my left ear does not work
2. my parents are distantly related--but i'm not abnoy! or at least hindi pa lumalabas ang ka-abnormalan ko
3. i choreographed philippine folk dance in high school and college
4. i get sleepy drinking coffee
5. my toenails are reeaaallly small (except for those on the big toe... duh kaya nga big eh)
6. i wore black everyday in my last sem of college
7. i'm kuba

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. have kids
2. travel to africa and south america
3. get a Ph.D.
4. get my parents a vacation wherever they want
5. swim the Philippine coral reefs... but first i need to learn how to swim
6. drive
7. oh yeah,... get married too

Seven things you can do:
1. play the piano
2. write words upside-down in legible script
3. say no... :D
4. find even the most boring person interesting
5. reason my way out of most anything... except if the one on the other end of the argument is nats
6. laugh at myself
7. sing

Seven things you can't do:
1. drive
2. swim
3. hear with my right ear
4. talk without flailing my hands and arms about
5. stick on a budget
6. play "rhapsody in blue"... yet! ;-)
7. part with my dave matthews band CD's (yes... aaminin ko na)

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. nose
2. eyes
3. skin
4. voice... lalo na pag singing voice
5. choice of music
6. sense of humor, wit
7. sense of responsibility and chivalry (the last one is a definite plus point because it's hard to find in men nowadays)

Seven things you say the most:
1. ewwww
2. awwww
3. ang taray
4. chuvaness
5. something-something
6. whatever
7. nyar/nyek

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
1. Keanu Reeves
2. Dennis Trillo
3. Colin Firth
4. Matt Lauer (The Today Show)
5. Kim Sung-su ("Luigi" in Full House... when he smiles: haaaayyyyy)
6. Jakob Dylan (Lead Singer of The Wallflowers... not chaka like his dad, Bob)
7. Dave Matthews

(more than) Seven people you want to see to take this quiz:
1. Ate Abbie
2. Dona
3. Kuya Chris
4. Stephen
5. Naomi
6. my friends at rm. 201: Dani, Peds, Dave, Clek, Mikoy, Jude
7. all my BA 191 students
8. Anna
9. Vienna
10. the Godfather
11. Belle in the Big Apple

one-man welcome team

i'm seeing metro manila for the first time this weekend. i'm seeing it through my "etranger" friend's eyes. last friday, i met my friend pia, a french student of ESSCA, at the ninoy aquino airport. she's going to be staying in the philippines until april, and studying at the de la salle university. first thing i noticed was... pia was sooooo tanned! turns out she came from a five-week holiday in AFRICA! imagine that, huh?! and another thing was she cut her hair! i still recognized her though--good for me. :) i'm set to be her one-man welcome team, and hopefully i can help her get accommodations, get enrolled, and get oriented with metro manila where she'll live for the coming eight months.

from the airport we tried to catch the bank (HSBC) to get her ATM card, but failed as we arrived five minutes after closing time, tried to look for a cafe with WI-FI access but also failed because, of all the darn times i've eaten at the coffee bean and starbucks at greenbelt, the one time i need their WI-FI access is the one time their WI-FI access is down (in the case of starbucks) or the one time they ran out of WIFI prepaid cards (in the case of coffee bean)! these things always happen to me! oh well, seeing that our first attempts at productive activities all failed in the first few hours pia is in the philippines, i thought: darn! maybe we should just sit down at a starbucks, have frappucinos and chat away!

and so we did just that till the sun came down at 7pm. i was surprised pia wasn't tired, it seems her energy level was still up even after the 12-hour flight. we walked across the bridge at makati avenue to the next mall (glorietta), checked out CD's at tower records and walked a little bit around.

i was walking with pia and realizing that, with the long lines and thick mass of people, the philippines has become such a mallrat culture! glorietta was SO crowded and not just because people pass through there to take the MRT, buses, or FX's to their respective destinations: a lot, and i mean a LOT, of the people DO linger and spend time IN the wall rather than THROUGH IT. we walk around, window shop, meet friends, eat, have conversations, date, quarrel, wait, walk... we LIVE in these malls. maybe a study should be made on how much time a person spends in a mall doing unproductive activities, i.e. walking, waiting, window-shopping. maybe that can be a factor to measure national productivity, you think?

so after some very unproductive browsing at Tower Records (just a few minutes lang naman), we went to Cibo, the Italian resto, to meet Dani Rose, another professor from UP who's on her way home to Rizal from her "raket" job at Leon Guinto. pia got to sample her first SMB but dani and i only got fruit shakes. (good girls, hehehe) i didn't get to ask her how SMB was--maybe later--but i told her that a lot of people in europe think it's a spanish beer, but no... it's philippine-made. we chatted about ESSCA, angers, the people we all knew, things pia can do in the philippines, etc., etc. i remember how it was when mikoy and i were in angers and were slowly taking in all the new things that we see happening and, well, just sitting there and being... around us.

after dinner we went home to my house and pia got to know my parents, my cousin, my ate inday, my cats and my dogs. our dog lester kept chasing her--he's not really a people person. but our cats JB and Bituin were all over her, rolling over the floor, the table, the sofa, essentially doing everything they can to be noticed. they were all over the place!

later, we're going to DLSU for pia to enrol in her subjects, and looking for hotels/hostels for her to stay until we can find an apartment for her next week. i'm so excited for her! she's got eight whole months ahead of her to explore the philippines, to explore asia! travelling is really an amazing experience--gives all of us a sense of maturity, a sense of presence, that we won't be able to get elsewhere and in any other way. haaayyy... not that i'm being sentimental or anything, is why i'm talking this way. maybe it's because i'm just griping: i have NOT yet been outside freaking METRO MANILA since i arrived here from Europe hundreds of miles away last June. hmp hmp hmp.

Aileen the Mastermind Rational

As part of my masters class, our professor asked us to take the Myers-Briggs personality test. I've heard about this test many many many years ago and I vaguely remember taking it at some point in time in the past although I've forgotten all about it na. Anyway, I took this test tonight at humanmetrics.com and found out that I am a Mastermind Rational. :) What this is exactly all sounded like psychic jargon to me but I'm figuring it out.

As to the details of the MBTest? It turns out I am an INTJ... Introverted Intuitive Judging Thinking personality.

• moderately expressed introvert... 44%
• moderately expressed intuitive personality... 25%
• moderately expressed thinking personality... 38%
• slightly expressed judging personality... 22%

Like I said I really don't know what the heck all this means so I followed the link from the results page and got this...

(Taken from... Typelogic.com)

"To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age... INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

...INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest... INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others...Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this

...INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

...Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations. This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship).

...To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people... easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-)

...Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although they do not always have natural empathy, they are good at synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

the highlighted (bold) phrases are those that i think are more accurate than the rest about me. all in all this profle of mine as an INTJ is quite representive. by the way INTJ's are also called the Mastermind Rationals.

...Very interesting, these personality tests. the myers-briggs is a bit more reliable, i think, not just because it's a bit more comprehensive in scope, but also because it has a lot more credibility than other personality tests. it has been recognized worldwide as a key component of understanding human resources and a key piece of resource information useful for team-building as well as organizational development. i myself want to encourage my students to take this test. it's easier to understand them that way and figure out if they're just lazy or simply "psychologically predisposed to avoiding details" or some psycho hullabaloo excuse like that.

Take the test. See the "Mastermind Rational".

Self-Realizations While Waiting For My Prof To Get Here

Took a personality test today while waiting for my class at UP-TMC. Was checking out the blogs of my students when I chanced upon this in another blog... came from a guy who had the same interest in an artist that i had... anyway, about my students' blogs--nakakatuwa kasi kakablog pa lang nila, nagko-commentan na sila sa blog ng isa't isa. I really don't know if may mapapala sila sa tinuro ko kanina (MS Frontpage and Blogging) but I hope they put whatever they remember to good use.

As for the personality test, it's called the Big Five Personality test. Here's what the site says:

The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions.

So here are my results on each dimension:

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (34%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private. Accommodation (60%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (62%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (60%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

It's a bit close to the truth, actually. I'm impressed. But I don't think I'm as relaxed and as optimistic as this result says. I'm more on the panicky side--I don't show it that often nga lang, and not to a lot of people. Nats and the people at home, though, can attest to how REAL panicky I can be. :-P

better late than never

i've been a bad, bad girl
i've been careless with a delicate man
and it's a sad, sad world
when a girl will break a boy just because she can
don't you tell me to deny it
i've done wrong and i want to suffer for my sins
i've come to you 'cause i need guidance to be true
and i just don't know where i can begin

what i need is a good defense
'cause i'm feeling like a criminal
and i need to be redeemed
to the one i've sinned against
because he's all i ever knew of love

heaven help me for the way i am
save me from these evil deeds before i get them done
i know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
but i keep living this day like the next will never come
oh help me but don't tell me to deny it
i've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till i'm good enough for him
i've got a lot to lose and i'm bettin' high so I'm begging you
before it ends just tell me where to begin

what i need is a good defense
'cause i'm feeling like a criminal
and i need to be redeemed
to the one i've sinned against
because he's all i ever knew of love

from "Criminal" by Fiona Apple from the Album Tidal

Why I Love Jane Austen, Reason 1: Darcy and Elizabeth

I have read Pride and Prejudice more than a dozen times and I must confess I still hold my breath as I watch Darcy swallow his pride and Elizabeth her prejudice enough to realize how they love and need each other. Sigh... Theirs is a love story that almost didn't happen, an against-all-odds tale that is neither dramatic nor pathetic, but straightforward and reasonable, simply a case of misunderstanding and false impressions corrected by the truth finally coming out in the open. As mundane as it might sound, the story is made sophisticated and fragrant not only by the delicate intricacies that pepper the "commonplace" lives of ordinary people and the twisted snobbery of the sophisticate culture of the Victorian era, but more importantly by the elegant writing of the story's creator, Jane Austen.

I share this in my blog today because I am in the midst of reading "Jane Austen: A Life" by Carol Shields and am once again in the process of being delighted by this woman who, despite being many cultures and generations away from my own, seem to speak my thoughts for me, and conjecture the theories in my head out loud in her novels. I was quite amazed to know that she was self-taught and lived a socially confined life. Anyway, I'll probably write more about her in the days to come as there are many many reasons why I love her work. These are quotes from Jane Austen in my reason #1 for loving Jane Austen: the love-hate-confused-misunderstood-accepting-and-finally-enlightened relationship between Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters." - the opening lines of Pride and Prejudice.

"She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men." - Darcy's first remark regarding Elizabeth, when he was asked to dance with her when she appeared to be without a partner at a ball.

"Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying." - Darcy realizes how attracted he has become to Elizabeth.

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." - Darcy struggles against his own principles to propose his love to Elizabeth.

"I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration." - Elizabeth's response to Darcy's proposal

"And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance." - Darcy's appeal

"I might as well inquire," replied she, "why with so evident a desire of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character?" -- Elizabeth

"...Disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?" - Darcy, the "Pride" in Pride and Prejudice

"Unfortunately an only son, I was spoilt by my parents, who allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased." - Darcy, coming to his senses, after which a storybook wedding follows, in a very Austen-like manner

The Symptoms of Inner Peace

Found this while killing time on the net. I'm sad to note that I'm not as "down" with this condition as I would like to be... but I'm working on it... and shouldn't we all?

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in judging self.

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

A loss of interest in conflict.

A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

Frequent attacks of smiling.

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

What I've noticed is that there is a common thread running through all of these symptoms. That thread is selflessness. A clear indication that we are at peace with ourselves is when we can stop worrying and start forgetting about ourselves enough to allow us to focus our attention on others: what others want, what others need, what will make others laugh, what will make others better persons, etc. Only when we are completely at peace about who we are, what we have, and what we are able to do can we stop caring about who we are not, what we don't have and what we can't do. Only when we have stopped obsessing about these things and ourselves can we completely give of ourselves--our smiles, our acquiescence, our gratitude, our love--to others.

Lovely Day at Project 7

Hay... just got back home. Spent all day today at the Church of Christ at Project 7. Naglead kami (Praise Theme) ng Praise and Worship Seminar duon this morning and this afternoon. We were only four when we started this morning: ako, si Ate Abbie, Kuya Wayne, and si Jerome. Humabol si Ronald shortly before lunch. Ay, technically pala, i didn't spend all day there kasi from 6-9 pm I checked midterm exams at Starbucks while waiting for the time to meet Nats (and bring him food, he's on duty kasi eh, poor guy).

Anyway, today was a very lovely day... the sun was out and the sky was blue all morning, plus I'm really happiest kapag music and worship ang ginagawa ko :D. The seminar for today was for the worship leaders and vocalists of the church. Most of them were so young! Seeing them participate and take on the responsbility for leading worship in the church is so inspiring to myself who's been in this ministry for so many years already.

I was assigned to lecture on two topics: Singing in Harmony and Music Theory. Singing in Harmony is focused on backup vocalists, providing them some tips and guidelines how to sing harmonies with the lead vocalist or the worship leader. Actually, naging parang disc jockey lang ako dito sa lecture ko kasi most of the time, I had them listen to examples of good back-up singing from CCM artists like Avalon, 4Him, Point of Grace, Mary Mary, etc. Music Theory naman is a crash course on note-reading and understanding musical expressions (a.k.a. what-are-those-italian-words-on-the-choral-pieces) for vocalists.

I realized today that, more than ever, choir members should know how to play the piano, at least on a beginner level. Reading music on music sheets really isn't anything, if you think about. That's just reading, nobody's making any music just yet. It's when the sound of music is heard that music is created, and ergo, enjoyed. There are two ways to do that: either to sing the music or to play it on an instrument. If a choir member wants to know how to create the right sound of music, it's best also to know the more accurate means to do so, and that's through an instrument, the most accessible of which, and most appropriate to teach vocalists new songs, is the piano. Hence my suggestion.

Teaching is really my element, more so for this particular teaching kasi it's about two areas I really am passionate about: singing back-up and reading music. Most singers take these for granted. Sa back-up singing, most of them simply duplicate the melody. My personal opinion is that this is being redundant. Sayang ang pagkaback-up singer mo kung hindi mo ie-enhance ang tunog ng grupo by doing the harmony. Sa music theory naman, if music is a universal language, then the theories of music prescribe the rules on how to use this language--and so all of us who want to "speak" this "language" properly must master these rules.

If we're in the music ministry, our talent comes with responsibility, so the desire for excellence in the musical arts most be stronger kasi it's for our Divine Audience of One.

Sometimes I think, dapat talaga nag College of Music na lang ako. But as it is, I am also definitely sure that the God who gave me the talent and passion for music is also the God who sent me to the work in the College of Business Administration. And His reasons are always just and, frankly speaking, I am not in a position to question them. Having said that, I am thankful that despite my hectic schedule and gargantuan workload, God still gives me opportunities like this to enjoy His gifts of music, ministry, and fellowship. And even more than that, He makes it very possible for me to participate by giving me the time and the resources to do so--otherwise the opportunity might be there but not the means for me to grab it. In this case, God blessed me with both, and I'm so grateful.

The Praise Theme with the members of the Project 7 Church of Christ. We visited them today to lead a Praise and Worship seminar for their young Worship Team. Today's seminar focused on Worship Leading and Musical Techniques for the Vocalists and is the first of a series of seminars. The next seminar will be two weeks after this and will focus on Musical Techniques for the Instrumentalists and some Disciplines of the Christian Artist. 

finally, blue skies! i have been waiting for blue sky such as this since i got back last june--finally we got it today... and thank God I got a chance to take this picture of the church... the sunshine didn't last, though, medyo dumilim na around 3pm... oh well, at least i got a glimpse of what i've been missing for so long na... thank God pa din! 

Praise Theme skeleton crew at Project 7 COC Praise and Worship Seminar: Ronald (panggulo and tagapicture), Ate Abbie (Vocal Technique), Jerome (Worship Leading, Worship Essentials, Handling Criticism), Aileen (Singing in Harmony, Music Theory)... not in picture: Kuya Wayne (Program Facilitator, Song Selection) 

sarap ng lunch provided by the elders of the church... fellowship with believers in the ministry is always such a joy... i know it's not obvious if you look at my face--but that's ronald's fault, my smirk was his doing 

whatever ronald and jerome were talking about, ate abbie and i weren't buying it... which is the case more often than not--lalo na pag involved si ronald :D 

hindi naman sa wala kaming ginagawa... pero obvious bang wala nang ginagawa si jerome ng mga oras na ito? in fairness to him, turn na ni ate abbie na magsalita by the time ronald took this picture (yes, wala na ding ginagawa si ronald nun) 

jerome's brilliant idea... nagkahawahan na talaga sila ni ronald sa kulit 

the young worship team at Project 7 COC... i'm inspired by their enthusiasm and their eagerness to learn 

Harana

To Nats... kahit sungit-mode ang normal mode mo:

I needed the shelter of someone's arms,

and there you were

I needed someone to understand my ups and downs,

and there you were

With sweet love and devotion

deeply touching my emotion

I want to stop and thank you baby

I want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you (feel so fine)

How sweet it is to be loved by you

I close my eyes at night

Wondering where would I be without you in my life

Everything I did was just a bore

Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before

But you brighten up for me all of my days

With a love so sweet in so many ways

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop and thank you baby (woah, yeah)

How sweet it is to be loved by you (feel so fine)
How sweet it is to be loved by you

You were better to me than I was to myself

For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop and thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you (feel so fine)

How sweet it is to be loved by you

Escudero vs. Defensor

In a country full of turncoat politicians, it’s hard to find sincerity in government. However, like diamonds in the sand, there are some who belong to the rare few who actually seem to mean what they say and stand by what they have said. May paninindigan, kumbaga. I don’t like discussing politics but if there’s only one thing I have to say about it, it’s this: I only pay attention to political talk when it’s either Mike Defensor or Cheese Escudero talking. Defensor is pro-administration, Escudero is a figurehead in the opposition, and both are decidedly standing by the sides they have taken. Walang balimbingan between the two of them, and you have to respect them for that.

Top picture: Escudero (right) with another congressman, Bottom picture: Defensor

I’m talking about this all of a sudden because on 12am, Friday morning, these two will go head-to-head against each other on Debate on GMA Network. What most people don’t know is that these two are both maroon-blooded UP graduates, all the way from elementary and high school at UPIS to college in UP Diliman. Magkaiba lang ata sila ng course nang nag-college. They were batchmates and friends then and they have kept the friendship until now. Jessica Soho Reports had a special feature on them a couple of weeks back. Jessica Soho had them joking, having coffee and a casual, non-political conversation together. Pwede pa palang maging professional kahit controversial ka sa gobyerno sa Pilipinas. On Debate, I’d like to see how they battle with each other’s opposing views on national TV. I’d like to see this professionalism at work. Sana wag silang mag-bangayan like we usually see kapag may congress or senate hearing coverage on national TV. If my hopeful, idealistic perspective is right, they will debate like gentlemen.

Frankly I’m tired of all the personal attacks and insults a lot of our “honorable” senators and congressmen throw at each other on a daily basis. Parang mga bata. Why can’t they agree to disagree and contend with each other respectably, like the “honorable” public servants they should be? Really, I cringe at the thought of people calling some of the senators and congressmen “honorable” when their behaviors are anything but. That’s why I’m really looking forward to Debate even if it means staying up late for the nth time this month. A televised political debate purely based on views and ideologies, and speaks of “trabaho lang, walang personalan,” is a rare occurrence in this country--and definitely something worth staying out late for. Pictures from Asiaweek.com and Liberal-Philippines.com.

wishful thinking

before i begin, i'd like to say na tama na ang pagdrama sa buhay. life's too unpredictable and difficult enough to waste time worrying about things and regretting things said and done. so tama na yung i spent quite a few hours "wallowing" about what i last wallowed. now i've moved on... with a smile :D

tomorrow, friday, starts a three-day weekend for UP-Diliman. holiday sa lungsod na aking pinaglilingkuran (quezon city day) bukas so all classes and work are suspended. baka nga maging four-day weekend pa because Ninoy Aquino day on sunday, and as we are a counry defined by "holiday economics", baka suspended na din ang work sa monday. whatever. doesn't really matter. whether four-day or three-day weekend makes no difference, either way I STILL HAVE TO CHECK 150 MIDTERM ESSAY EXAMS, ergo, there is no weekend for me to speak of. which makes me think, bakit ko pa nabanggit-banggit dito ang weekend na ito eh sasama lang ang loob ko. oh well...


work i need to be doing... a.k.a. my "social life" this weekend


...what i'd rather do

don't worry about me, though. i am finding ways of amusing myself. lately i've been caught up with a 28-year-old canadian named michael bublé. oh, hindi love affair to ha! naging fan lang po ako. in a span of three weeks i've bought all of his audio CD's plus one VCD. i became a fan of this guy immediately after i heard him for the first time. i "met" michael (uy, first name basis... wish ko lang ano) while waiting for ate abbie at tower records SM north edsa (nag-cutting ako from UP hihihi). i saw this HUGE poster for his new album, It's Time (click here for amazon.com reviews) and thought... hmmm, mapakinggan nga. his first crooning (right into my ear, kasi nakaearphones ako) went like this: "you give your hand to me... and then you said hello..." sighh... pa-gwapuhin ba ang ray charles staple na "you don't know me"????!!! hayyyy.... gosh, i am gushing na ata... okay okay... (composing myself).

so i am a fan. just how much of a fan i am will be tested in the coming months as "bublé" (as his band calls him... how endearing ano) will be COMING TO MANILA (!!!) on october 12 for a one night only gig at the araneta coliseum. i have been so excited about this for the last two days and i am rearing to keep the excitement up were it not for harsh reality of this concert's ticket prices: patron-PhP5220, lower box-PhP2871, upper box A-PhP1827, upper box B-PhP836. ohhhmygulay... definitely not within a UP professor's salary range... puro wishful thinking na lang ang beauty ko and i can only sigh... i wish each sigh gave me P10 as i reckon if this were the case, i think i can muster enough sighs from listening to his albums to buy me a patron ticket by the time october comes around. so for the moment i leave you with.... sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

sending out an s.o.s.

this is not so much an s.o.s. as it is a griping session. i just read some emails from friends in the last few minutes and i suddenly realized i'm in a frustrating situation i can't get myself out of and it's just so... arggghh. i've never griped in this blog so forgive me for this first time. i hate it when i'm helpless about situations, when certain influences around me weigh me down. i'm under such a weight now--i've been in this conundrum since i got back from france, so that makes it around two and a half months na of being shackled.

i've been thinking of possible reasons why i'm in this situation: i definitely did not put myself here so i can't blame myself. who do i blame then? should i start blaming the people around me? i will NOT blame God and i don't want to ask WHY. that's why i'm griping here: some way to release my frustration so i won't be pushed to blame those that I shouldn't and ask the questions i shouldn't touch even with a ten-foot pole.

here's the gist: i'm being kept from doing what i've always wanted to do, what i feel i've been "called" to do... there are just some things in your life you were "created" to do and it's as if you just know that everything you've been through--all the training you've had, all your failures, all your talents and skills, all your relationships--they've all been seemingly orchestrated to bring you to a certain point in your life at a certain time and for a certain "calling" that will seem to bring all the disjointed trajectories in your life together to pursue one single path: your life's ultimate purpose.

...or something like that. basta i feel that the time has come for me to answer this call. all circumstances have been arranged and it seems the only thing i need to do is say yes and participate except i can't because... i'm not allowed to. what makes things worse is that i don't agree at all with the reason given me why i have to put up with this. i would understand if what i wanted to do is not good for me, or if i'm not fit to the task--but it is good and i am. i can always rebel and stand my ground but doing that will alienate me from people i love the most and hurt them in ways i don't even want to imagine. notwithstanding my respect and love for them, however, i don't agree with their reasons--their arguments are more "grudges" than reasons, in my opinion.

still, i don't want people to hurt so i'll just sigh helplessly in this shackled state and wait. beating my arms flailingly against the wave will only cause me to drown beneath it, so i'll just ride this wave: move along with its crests and troughs and just hope that someday this wave will reach the shore and crash against it, shattering into droplets like it never happened. i still have a little bit of patience left, so notwithstanding this griping session i'll probably act and even feel as if this post never happened. however in me i know there's a feeling of dread: the fear that this wait is not going to end.

(by the way i've finished with my compre exam. i should be celebrating. i will i will... give me a couple more hours to get out of this barrel-bottom and i'll be up and running and pulling arms for people to take me to an after-compre movie or dinner. until then, however, i think i also deserve this after-compre wallowing.)

Ma'am Aileen and the Movies Update

Around a month ago, I gave my BA 191 students a challenge: how to apply IT management principles in the "alternative reality" of selected Sci-Fi films. I posted the assignment in this blog around that time and I promised an update of what my students will come up with... Voila! This is post is that promise fulfilled! Not only have they made interesting presentations with the short time given them (45 minutes), they also made a lot of interesting analogies...

Minority Report for alternative sourcing. John Anderton going to the "virtual reality junkie bar" to get information from the precog to prove his innocence. The frame-up situation disallowed him from getting to the truth in the office and so he looked for "alternative sources". It also helped that he was "well-connected" with different kinds of "suppliers".

Prof X School for communities of practice and selective sourcing. Prof. X used Cerebro to seek common-minded members in the expanding X-Men community, and Jean Grey used as a medium between the supermutants show an emphasis on synergy and communication in the institution. The use of Shi'ar technology-supported training rooms is an example of selective sourcing: my students tell me Shi'ar technologies are from alien beings beyond our galaxy.

Zion and The Matrix for knowledge infrastructure and sensitive sourcing issues. The “jack” as critical component of the knowledge infrastructure where they get “training” through uploadable skills, e.g. kung-fu, flying a helicopter; a sensitive sourcing issue was also observed when Zion people developed their machines and technologies from the enemies (the machines) themselves.

The Jedi Council for knowledge infrastructure and communities of practice. The Jedi is supported by a knowledge infrastructure which includes their holographic version of a galactic-spanning internet. The council is a community of practice with shared belief and knowledge exchange enhanced by holographic modes of communication regardless of time, climate, and uh, planet, and of course, let's not forget, also through the Force.

Star Trek for communities of practice. This is shown as specific roles are performed by each crew member and each member is recognized as "experts" in their own right. Expertise is commonly shared among everyone: the “senior manager” (whether it's the cheeky james kirk or the suave jean luc picard) is often seen consulting his subordinates when situational or environmental elements go beyond his own area of expertise, which is, uh... hmmm... who really knows? Basta ganun...

...In short, for at least 45 minutes of their life, kin-areer nila to. Nakakatuwang basahin. I can't wait to try this on a high-brow, CEO-facing consulting gig in the future. Baka batuhin ako ng mga PDA nila palabas ng boardroom. Or worse, magpasoli ng bayad for my consulting hours!! Anyways, I myself learned a lot from listening to these less-than-scientific-but-nonetheless-heavy-on-the-insight analogies. So, thanks to my BA 191 students for these flashes of wisdom. Indeed, the Force is strong in all of you. :)

Everything you need to know... Calvin doesn't give a heck about

Am up to my ears cramming for my compre exam... I'm thinking now, what better way to keep my sanity than to... read Calvin & Hobbes?! Here are some favorite "Calvinisms" that made me smile today:

• [Calvin stands behind an upside-down cardboard box with the sign 'A swift kick in the butt: $1.00'] Hobbes: How’s business? Calvin: Terrible. I can’t understand it. Everybody I know needs what I’m selling!
• Nothing I do is my fault. My family is dysfunctional and my parents won’t empower me! Consequently, I am not self-actualized! My behavior is addictive functioning in a disease process to toxic codependency! I need holistic healing and wellness before I’ll accept any responsibility for any actions!...I love the culture of victimhood.
• Why should I have to work for everything? It’s like saying I don’t deserve it!
• Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
• I think grown-ups just act like they know what they’re doing.
• I asked mom if I was a gifted child… she said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me. You can relate this little story when the reporters ask how I went bad.
• Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
• Calvin: I don’t understand it, Hobbes. The kids teased me when I didn’t play baseball. Then they yelled at me when I did play. Then the teacher called me a “quitter” when I stopped playing… unless you’re a star, you can’t please anyone.
  Hobbes: In that case, why not just please yourself?
  Calvin: Because mom won’t let me move to Madagascar.
• I don’t like maxims that encourage behavior modification.
• I’ve got more brains than I know what to do with.
• Calvin [talking to the TV]: Oh, great altar of passive entertainment! Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!
• Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.
• There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
• Life’s a lot more fun if you’re not responsible for your actions.
• Calvin [In a letter to Susie]: Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin.
• In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
• That’s one of the remarkable things about life… it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
• Golly, I’d hate to have a kid like me.
• When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain when the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation.
• I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway.
• Saturday is the best day of the week. No demands at all! Perfect freedom. The whole day stretches before us with unlimited opportunity. And what better way to appreciate the opportunity than by squandering it by watching cartoons all day.
• My fall lineup got cancelled. Dad said one TV in the house was bad enough. And he preferred the one with the remote control.
• Hobbes: How did you do on your math quiz?
  Calvin: I flunked it… but only because I ran out of time. The worst part, though, was the Susie Derkins won our bet on who’d get the better score. I had to pay her 25 cents. But get this! I cheated her! I only gave her three dimes! Ha!

I guess when I laugh at Calvin, I laugh at myself too. That's probably why I was laughing so hard and enjoying reading these cartoons so much that I lost track of time again! Oh, well as Calvin would probably say, what the heck--just do tomorrow what you can put off today!

Who are Calvin and Hobbes?